Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Deal With The Guilt Of Not Being Present At Time Of Death

Guilt is a common emotion during grief after a loved one passes away.


Common emotions after the death of a loved one include: confusion, guilt, anger and depression. When a death occurs and an individual cannot get to the location in time, guilt becomes a main emotion. Ideally, everyone would die after their loved ones had a chance to tell them goodbye, but the ideal does not always happen. Sudden deaths, suicides or even being too far away to reach the hospital in time are common reasons for missing the death of a loved one. Coping with the guilt is challenging, but it is a necessary part of moving past the death and moving on with life.








Instructions


1. Avoid ignoring the guilt. Ignoring the problem does not make it go away and suppressing guilt causes it to build over time. Face the guilt and look at the cause. Think back to the reason for missing the death. Maybe the plane was delayed or maybe the individual died suddenly.


2. Talk about the feelings of guilt. This not only helps deal with the problem, it puts the problem in a logical scenario. Emotions like guilt are not logical. Talking to a family member, friend or even a counselor can help place the feelings in a logical way to cope with the emotion and deal with the source.








3. Write down the feelings. Writing gives a similar effect as talking without the worries about the opinion of others. When guilt builds, it becomes self-destructive and leads to depression. Writing results in the same organization and consideration that talking about the problem deals with, but it doesn't require finding someone to listen.


4. Join a support group. Support groups for the loss of loved ones are available through counseling services, churches or even schools. The appropriate support group depends on the relationship to the individual. For example, a parent whose child died while they were away on business would join a support group for parents that have lost children, while a woman who lost her husband to an accident would join a support group for the loss of a spouse.

Tags: support group, death loved, join support, join support group, loved ones