By some estimates, 3 out of every 100 people will experience some sort of disordered eating behavior in their lifetime. Given the extreme standards of thinness equated with beauty that is exploited by Madison Avenue, it is not surprising there are such disorders. Anorexia nervosa is characterized by an extremely distorted self-view of how one appears. A person with anorexia may diet, purge, use laxatives or exercise excessively to lose weight or remain very thin.
Instructions
1. Don’t try to fix the problem. Well-intentioned friends and family may mistake anorexia to be simply a matter of being too thin. They see the external effects only and will try to feed the person with this serious disorder. Doing so will create more anxiety for a person who is already very sensitive about her body image and is keenly aware of how many calories she has consumed and what she is willing to do to stay in control of her body.
2. Practice friendly non-judgment. Especially for women who themselves may be struggling with body image issues, seeing a very thin, often young woman literally starving herself can prompt anger or projection. Do not mistake anorexia as a developmental “stage.” Instead, if you have a sister who is anorexic, understand that she is seriously ill and requires medical attention. Therapy is almost always the key to lasting recovery. Family therapy is often recommended to help the person with anorexia.
3. Do not make comments about her thin (or not thin) appearance. Anorexic people are obsessed with how they look, and a chorus of people praising her that she does not “look fat” will make no difference. Instead, avoid making any comments about her appearance. If she asks, of course, offer a supportive comment that is factual and sincere.
4. Understand that the anorexic person is not able to simply start eating and gain weight. This is enormously difficult for people who are healthy and could not imagine what it is like to be ruled by an obsessive-compulsive disorder such as anorexia.Your friend is probably already in therapy and working to understand her illness. She will benefit most from caring, morally supportive friends and family who do not judge or pressure her to “just eat and snap out of it.”
5. Encourage only healthy behaviors. Anorexia is about controlling one’s environment. For some people, anorexia may be a way to avoid maturing sexually and coping with those changes and social expectations of adulthood. For others, it is a distortion of health--a slender ideal gone seriously awry.
6. Be present for your friend. Especially if you have made yourself available to your friend as a buddy through her recovery, be responsible. Anyone who has helped a friend through alcoholism or substance abuse understands that being a friend to a person in recovery is a serious commitment. To trust someone else with the knowledge of an addiction or illness is not easy. Do not take this trust lightly.
7. Educate yourself. If you have a family member with anorexia, attend group therapy. If you are a friend, also attend group therapy to learn support your anorexic friend.
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