Cancer. It's a dreaded diagnosis, and for many, it becomes a death sentence. Receiving the news of terminal cancer is the beginning of what will likely be the most difficult time of a person's life. Emotions, hopes, fears and illness are just a part of what's to come. Being a family member of a terminally ill cancer patient, it's often hard to know what to do, help and what to say. While there is no specific checklist, there are a few steps you can take to help ease your patient's time.
Instructions
1. Know to not expect typical results. While there are many books and publications about the "typical" reactions to a terminal cancer diagnosis, people aren't the same. Your loved one may react completely different than the experts' predictions.
2. Encourage your family member to talk about her fears, concerns, hopes and wants at her own pace. Her openness may vary depending on her mood and acceptance of her cancer, but it's very important for her to know you are willing to talk and listen.
3. Ask your loved one about his life story. Let him know you want to know how he was as a child, what school was like, the people he dated, the hobbies he enjoys and any other stories he wants to share. By showing interest in his stories, you let him know that his life is not a waste, that it matters to you and it will be remembered.
4. Understand that your family member may be moody, angry, sullen, sad or all of these all at once. This is a very emotional time for a terminally ill cancer patient, and she needs your compassion and understanding.
5. Make your cancer patient as comfortable as possible. He may be in pain or experiencing symptoms that are a bit embarrassing. Help him to retain his dignity by being understanding these conditions.
6. Get respite care, if necessary. As a caregiver, you need to take care of yourself. Also, there may be times you need to work, buy groceries or run errands. Respite care workers are trained and willing to help out.
7. Be present. Even if your loved one doesn't care to talk, he will benefit by knowing you're there. Additionally, be generous with affection and touches. Terminally ill patients respond well to loving touches, especially near the end.
8. Tell her it's all right to go. Many times, a patient struggles to hang on, because she doesn't want to see you or other family members in grief. Just by letting her know it's OK to go, you may be helping to ease her pain.
Tags: family member, cancer patient, terminally cancer, terminally cancer patient, While there, your family, your family member