If you have a loved one who has some sort of drug addiction (alcohol included), you know how trying it can be. There are many "Dos" and "Dont's" to follow when trying to maintain a relationship with an addict. Relying on some tried-and-true ideas may be of great help to you and your loved one.
Instructions
1. Take care of yourself. As the airline-safety spiel goes, "Put on your own oxygen mask before you assist another." Do not sacrifice your own health and sanity while trying to "help" a drug-addicted person. This will not help either of you.
2. Know that you cannot help this person; only she can help herself. Write down this information and hang it where you can read it several times a day as a reminder. Take it as your mantra. The only person who can help an addict is the addict himself.
3. Do not enable. Enabling is not helping; it's what assists an addict in maintaining her addiction. Enabling behaviors would include calling in sick for the person, giving him money (when you know he will only spend it on his drug of choice) and letting the addict stay with you rent-free. Anything that helps the addict avoid taking responsibility for her own life is enabling.
4. Learn about tough love. Many parents have drug-addicted children. If the child is old enough to live on his own and old enough to get a job, insist that he do so. If your child is a minor and lives in your house, there are still some ground rules you can set. If these ground rules are not met, you can find alternatives. Again, do everything you can to ensure that your child has to take responsibility herself, without your help.
5. Perform an intervention. They can be successful if handled the right way. Gather a few loved ones, along with the person with the drug addiction. Do it at a time of day when you are certain the addict will not be under the influence; you want her as clear-headed as possible. Tell her honestly why you called the meeting. Suggest rehab, AA, NA or a combination. Talk to the addict with love and compassion, never with accusation or anger.
6. Find a former addict. If someone your loved one knows is a former addict, by all means ask her to intervene.This is a big part of AA and NA: addicts helping addicts. Sometimes, only another addict can get through to someone who is active in his addiction. If you do not know anyone, call the AA or NA hotline for help.
7. Join Al-Anon. This organization is for people who live with or love an addict. You will find support, suggestions and (above all) understanding. Call the Al-Anon hotline (see Resources) to find a meeting in your area.
Tags: addict will, drug addiction, former addict, ground rules, that your, that your child, with love