The early childhood years are an especially important period when it comes to a child's character development.
Other species move to adulthood much quicker than humans, who are dependent for several years.The early years are a formative time for character development. Neglect in any area can have a cumulative impact on a child's character.
The First 18 Months
The mother's role is critical to the character development of a child.
In the book "Early Childhood Counts: A Programming Guide on Early Childhood Care for Development," authors Judith L. Evans, Robert G. Meyers and Ellen Ilfield posit that the months immediately after birth are a critical time in regard to brain maturation because it is during those months that the number of synapses (the connections that allow learning to take place) increase 20-fold. This means that any sort of neglect--whether nutrition or interaction--creates a much greater risk for developing character difficulties (e.g., behavioral, cognitive and emotional).
Eighteen Months to 3 Years
When the child begins to learn language, the communication between parent and child is easier.
With language, a child begins to learn control impulses through words. In the book "The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood," Selma H. Frailberg suggests that language makes everything easier for the child. For example, the word "bye-bye" allows children to separate more gracefully from the parents while the word "night-night" makes them feel better about going to bed. This means that special attention must be given to helping children learn language because it makes rituals easier for them, which will affect their character, such as separation issues, later in life.
Three to 6 Years
A child with a socially sensitive character makes a good addition to society.
Between the years of 3 and 6, a child moves from believing that she is the center of the universe to a more modest position in the human society. According to Frailberg, these are the years that a child develops "social sensitivity," so it is important that the child has stable and loving people in a stable and loving environment in order for the child to develop a socially sensitive character (i.e., one where she considers the feelings of other people as well as her own).
Discipline and Character
A child who has discipline values cooperation and self-control over their actions.
Discipline is a word that has gotten a bad reputation because it's seen as synonymous with punishment, especially corporal punishment; however, according to Frailberg, discipline, in its truest definition, "training that develops self-control, character or orderliness and efficiency," is important because it aids in a child's cooperation as well as his self-control over his actions.
Conscience Building
A child will have improved self-control by age 3, but no awareness of that self-control.
Frailberg notes that by age 3, most children will have improved self-control, but no conscience in the strict meaning of the word. Self-control is still dependent mainly on the approval or disapproval of her parents. A conscience is made up of standards and prohibitions which have been taken over by the personality or character and that governs behavior from within; this kind of conscience doesn't emerge until 5 or 6 years of age. It will become a permanent and stable part of the character by the 9th or 10th year.
Fears
Parents shouldn't play along with a child's irrational fears.
Frailberg has found that parents often don't help positive character-building in children by policing the environment for monsters under the bed or ghosts in the closet; it is better to deal with the fears openly and help the child deal with them in the same way.The child must learn to manage the irrational fears (i.e. parents should not pretend like the monsters could be there), since this encourages feelings of helplessness and defenseless before imagined dangers, which can cause their character to be marked by overaggressiveness and defiance later in life.
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